Britney Spears Will Make Me Famous

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My mind was utterly blank this morning. Posting daily is a discipline for me. I reckon that if I want to write well, then I have to do it every day. I call myself a guitarist, but I never practice. So, I play so poorly that nobody would want to listen. Even me. Especially me.

I got to thinking about a curious fact. Of the hundreds of posts I’ve done, the one that consistently gets the most hits is about Clyde Barrow and Steve McQueen sharing the same birthday. There are consistently twenty to forty hits a day on that single post. Obviously (I can tell from the statistics), this is due to people Googling Steve McQueen.

So, my bitter and twisted mind began to wonder, “What if I wrote about someone famous? Would that have any effect?

Well, let’ see.

I don’t know exactly how Britney Spears and Sheba’s (our dog) tongue somehow got wired together in my brain. Rats have chewed the wiring in our house. Are there brain rats that chew up the insulation? Do you smell smoke?

Sometimes these things just happen. A misspent youth.

Anyway, I remembered how cute George Bush looked wearing Sheba’s tongue and decided to improve Britney’s always stunning countenance with a few minutes of Photoshop labour.

I call this one “Britney – The Girl Next Door” Don’t you think this is better? 

Britney Spears - The Girl Next Door

And this one is “The Babe I Met Last Night and Decided Not to Ask Out” 

Britney Spears - Dare you date her?

This one is my favourite. I call it “The Girl of Iggy Pop’s Fantasies”:

 Britney Spears - Isn’t She Lovely?

As I was working on the last one, Stevie Wonder’s song “Isn’t She Lovely?” was wafting through my ganglia like a summer breeze.

Now I’m feeling guilty. How would I like it if people made fun of me?

Hey, wait a minute. People do make fun of me.

Just the other day a close friend who used to be “in the theatre” said to me – having observed all the dangly bits hanging off my belt (camera, cell phone, keys, two USB flash drives), “You look like a stage manager.” Is that an insult? Is it funny – was she making fun of me? I can’t tell.

Anyway, I do feel guilty about poking fun at Britney. It’s all too easy and a cheap shot to make fun of those less fortunate than ourselves.

I hope I don’t get sued over this.

(I managed to get the names of seven famous people in this post. Was it obvious what I’m trying to do? I hope not. Google knocks you back for ‘stuffing’.)

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32 Responses to “Britney Spears Will Make Me Famous”

  1. Madang - Ples Bilong Mi » Blog Archive » And Not a Drop To Drink Says:

    […] went over to get some more medical supplies for our vet-damaged dog, Sheba (a story about that some other time). Poor Greg was going nuts. He told me he was waiting with […]

  2. Madang - Ples Bilong Mi » Blog Archive » The Silly Season Says:

    A post about Britney Spears and Sheba’s tongue

  3. Sheba - Princess of My Heart | Madang - Ples Bilong Mi Says:

    […] can get more of Sheba here, here, here, and […]

  4. Recycled Flash Drives Says:

    Great work! I also have my own blog I just find it hard to write quality content like this.
    I guess I really don’t have the time.

  5. Anonymous Says:

    Britney Spears rocks!. She is the female version of Michael Jackson. I have been listening to the song of Britney Spears ever since 1998. Love live Britney.

  6. Jacynda Says:

    Britney Spears is worthy of the title Queen of Pop. i really admire her because of her talent and sexiness.

  7. MadDog Says:

    Thanks Jacynda, for that comment.

    I guess it all depends on your value system. If attributes such as popularity (you like only who many others like) and “sexiness” (something which seems undefinable) are important to you, then yes, you’re right to admire her. Her talent, however, is another question. If you means that she sings about as well as the average high-school chorus member, then she has some talent. However, to me, she seems to be the typical spoiled brat so common among the glitterati. She may be a perfectly wonderful person, but she chooses some very odd ways to demonstrate it. To me she’s just another sad, sad joke. A person who has achieved notoriety beyond her capacity to deal with it in a responsible and admirable manner.

    However, the nice thing about being human is that your opinion is just as valid as mine. It just depends on your viewpoint.

  8. Jamz Says:

    i idolized Britney Spears since 1998. she is definitely the best female pop singer.

  9. MadDog Says:

    Hmm . . sounds a little silly to me. You IDOLISE her? As in worship? What does “best female pop singer” have to do with anything in life that matters? Get a life, kid. Britney has a long way to go to prove that she’s past puberty.

  10. Clarisse Says:

    Britney Spears is no doubt the Queen of Pop. After all the controversies and negative image, she is still a very successful singer.

  11. MadDog Says:

    Yet another Spears sycophant replies. This is getting tiresome. So what, in this troubled world, does “Queen of Pop” do for us, pray tell.

  12. MadDog Says:

    Thanks, Steven.

  13. Ted Blake Says:

    there is no other singer like Britney Spears, she can dance well, sing well and she has a great stage performance.

  14. MadDog Says:

    The comments that I get on this post are cracking me up. Britney is one of the great clowns of our time. An accidental clown.

  15. The Essentials of Modern Living | Madang - Ples Bilong Mi Says:

    […] the two posts, out of 736 so far, which have drawn the most comments were one in which I showed an image of Britney Spears with my dog, Sheba’s, tongue hanging from her mouth and another in which I featured an […]

  16. Brittney-Wannabe-Janet Jackson Says:

    People like to compare pop singers; particularly the newbies; to the reigning Pop Kings and Queens. So Im going to do the same. Brittney was a huge fan of Janet Jackson (and I gather that she stil is). She tried to imitate that unique stage presence that Janet naturally possessed…the efforts paid off for Ms Spears; she became famous. The only thing she had no control over was keeping her private life private and avoid getting tangled in BS relationships with looser boyfriends..

  17. MadDog Says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, edtcheung. Finally, an intelligent comment on this post. Like many of my posts, some people completely misunderstand the point or don’t bother to read it. My point was that you can get big boosts in your web site hits by simply putting the names of famous currently-hot personalities in your posts. I think that I proved my point. I picked Britney because she was busy making herself a huge target for ridicule at that time.

    Thanks for reading.

  18. edtcheung Says:

    Hahaha… that’s ok…anything to bring recognition to sweet and beautiful Madang…I’m just as passionate about Madang (and all things madang-websits, blogs, Youtube vids etc) cos I grew up there… good luck with the blog…im sure you’ll be getting more visitors… cheers!

  19. MadDog Says:

    Well, if you grew up in Madang, I hope you would not be to disappointed to see the was it has gone down hill. I’ve been here almost 30 years and it saddens me greatly to see it falling to pieces. Keep reading – I’ll keep writing.

  20. Erick Eason Says:

    Yes its Britney Spears. Numerous sane individuals have become a big watcher and can never get too much information or comments about Britney’s life history. Be it head shaving, racy videos, wedding breakdowns or just another pop song release there is a good deal carrying on close to Britney. Shame about the kids involvement but I imagine the money will help them. The internet age is her opportunity for large earnings but will it be her downfall with way too much reporting and exposure. In fact I suppose that this blog entry and my comment are the selfsame pressure I talked about.

  21. MadDog Says:

    Thanks, Erick. I’m suddenly getting some thoughtful replies to my silly post.

    Your thoughts echo those of my wife and I, if I get your drift. The truly sad thing about all of these personalities is that ordinary people, as most of them were before achieving devastating notariety, seem ill equipped to deal with the sweeping changes in life that are brought about by riches and fame. We see it over and over again, don’t we. There’s no point in listing names.

    The other tragedy is the exposure to the “fish bowl” effect. We have some experience with this, not because we are rich or famous, but because we stand out racially and economically in the area in which we live. Everybody knows us, where we live, what we do and we can “feel” them watching us no matter where we are or what we are doing. It must be horribly worse when you have the press hounding you constantly.

    And, you’re right, Erick. My sarcastic comments about Britney and the comments that followed are really part of the problem and solve nothing.

    Thanks for your thoughtful comment.

    MadDog

  22. edtcheung Says:

    Have you seen this vid on youtube? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQAMa9opz5g
    Its about a certain company’s practices, causing a lot of Madang residents and PNGuineans who have a heart for Madang to question the so-called investment and development purposes of the current government.

  23. MadDog Says:

    I had a look at the video and it certainly supports my previous conclusion from several inspection trips that I’ve made that it is not a matter of IF it will break and lead to an ecological wipe-out of everything living in the watershed below the break, but WHEN and HOW MANY TIMES it will happen! I defy any qualified engineer to publicly report that that pipeline is safe. He would be kicked out of his profession!

    As for the “Chinese” angle, I consider it bordering on racism. The fact that the current rapists of PNG resources are Chinese is a matter of economic coincidence and who offers the greatest “incentives” to decision makers. One doesn’t have to look far to find other nationalities getting in on the gang-rape of PNG.

    Let’s ask ourselves where the REAL problem lies! I’m the question man, not the answer man. It’s up to Papua New Guineans to wise up and figure out who are the good guys and who are the bad guys. I’m only a guest (Permanent Resident) here and an observer who loves this land and the people in it.

  24. edtcheung Says:

    Yes…true words. When and how many times the pipeline is bound to break is somthing that should be acted upon to avoid ASAP, or more will be broken besides the pipeline when the people start to take matters into their own hands. Government intervention is needed immedietly or else there will be hell to pay when things get out of hand if left longer.

    And you are absolutely correct in pointing out that the Chinese angle is purely racially fueled…I guess people tend to feel that way when their territory and lifeline (land and sea) has been borrowed by “outsiders” and not taken care of.

  25. MadDog Says:

    Yeah, the problem is WHO is going to pay any attention to this? I think that change is inevitable. The only way to avoid disaster and civil unrest, along with the violence that will accompany it, is for government to do what it is Constitutionally mandated to do – REPRESENT THE INTERESTS OF THE PEOPLE!

    One of the great heroes of my life was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The real power of the people lies in the understanding and exercise of the political power that they hold. Voting for the guy who brings the biggest truckload of SP into the village isn’t getting us very far. The future of our wonderful land lies in the hands of the people, if they would only understand that. Dr. King’s principles of peaceful, lawful and persistent protest changed a mighty nation and its very culture.

    Who will be our Dr. King? Are we so fragmented and consumed with self-interest that we can’t see that we all need to come up together? We must rise as one people or perish as politically isolated mobs of fools.

  26. brittany Says:

    ok i LUV britney spears…and u r just so freakin immature to do tht to britney she is the queen of pop(like u will never be) so ur just JEALOUS!

  27. MadDog Says:

    Okay, “brittany”, you win. I’m actually jealous of the Village Idiot of the entertainment community.

    [I usually just toss these comments into the trash, However this one was so priceless that I’m passing it on for my readers’ amusement.]

    Congratulations, “britany”. Youv’e made the Stupid Comments About Britney Spears Hall of Shame.

  28. Alyssa Thompson Says:

    I have watched almost every concert of Britney Spears. She is truly a goddess of the pop music industry. I wish that she gets more success ,

  29. MadDog Says:

    Well, good for you, Alyssa. I’m sure that Britney appreciates your personal contribution to her good fortune. It must feel good to blow your money on the aimless appreciation of one of the world’s most irreverent personages.

  30. My Dog Sheba | Madang - Ples Bilong Mi Says:

    […] I’m getting sleepy now, so I have to wrap this up. I can’t leave, however without showing, once again, Sheba’s incredible tongue. If you could lick your nose like this you could have a successful career in the circus:Sheba’s magnificent tongue has featured here before, attached to some famous faces. […]

  31. Steve Bennett Says:

    I can’t believe Sheba’s tongue is sooo long.

  32. MadDog Says:

    Steve, she tries to keep it in her mouth, but it’s so comical when it just slips out. I don’t recall ever seeing a dog with such an unruly tongue.