The Silly Season

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Ah, politics . . . Brarak Obama declared on the Dave Letterman show that the Silly Season of Politics has begun. Contrarily, he also said that there is no non-silly season for politics. I tend to agree.

Bringing on this comical confusion was a monumental goof by his running mate, Joe “Loose Lips” Biden.

But first, for you foreigners, I have to tell you, briefly, about our own Silly Season of Politics here in Madang. I’m sure my fellow Madangers will forgive me if I don’t get my facts straight; I’m notoriously ill-informed.

To protect my life, I’ll make this a hypothetical situation. Politics here are pretty hypothetical anyway, so it’s not a stretch.

Candidate C wins few votes. Candidate A wins many. There’s another candidate, candidate B, but he’s pretty much a bystander in all this. Candidate C whines, one of many whines, that he could have won if only Candidate A had not benefitted from “undue influence” exerted on his behalf by a former major political figure. Candidate C goes to court and persuades a judge to make the previous election go away. It did. Now we have to have another election.

Since when does the campainging of former office holders on behalf of potential office holders constitute “undue influence”? Again, I have to claim ignorance and stupidity on my part if I’m wrong about this. But then, I’m not running for office, so I have an excuse.

It’s actually much funnier than that, but we don’t discuss these things in public.

Anyway, back to Mr. Biden’s gaffe.

I present it here to you [with my witty comments] in full, snatched directly from that font of wisdom, Old Man Internet:

Make no mistake about this [I want you to believe me], Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified [shaky ground ahead] than I am to be vice president of the United States of America [has audience’s attention now]. Let’s get that straight. She’s a truly close personal friend [we’re about to find out how close] , she is qualified to be president of the United States of America, she’s easily qualified to be vice president of the United States of America [seems redundant to me], and quite frankly, [slight pause here] it might have been a better pick than me [Joe qualified to receive Sheba’s tongue at this point]. But she’s first rate, I mean that sincerely [obviously], she’s first rate [okay, okay, she’s first rate], so let’s get that straight [said “let’s get that straight” twice].

Oh, Joe! What were you thinking? You have fired a torpedo directly into the engine room of the USS Democratic Party. You actually said what almost everybody has been thinking. Even Republicans, who are now wringing their tiny hands in glee. We can hear the Republican Party’s collective sigh of relief clear over here in Madang. Even Krakatau didn’t carry that far, for pity’s sake.

Joe, step up and claim your reward:

Joe Biden Sporting Sheba’s Tongue

Wrapping this up, I have to note the slight pause before the fatal words “it might have been a better pick than me.” The pause might indicate that Joe was considering, briefly, whether he should articulate what his brain was sending to his lips. I have some advice on that matter.

In my experience, if I have to consider whether what I’m about to say is appropriate, safe, funny or not funny, wise, stupid, unfriendly, confrontational, or whatever, then I am certain I should very likely not say it.

If, in that moment of hesitation, you make the wrong choice, you might very well end up sporting Sheba’s tongue.

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One Response to “The Silly Season”

  1. My Dog Sheba | Madang - Ples Bilong Mi Says:

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