AAAS Dumbs Down Science
I’m much the same as Bill Gates in one respect. Bill had little formal training to facilitate his transformation from pimply-faced geek to gozillionaire geek. I have had little formal training in my transition from uneducated trailer-trash lout to the internationally recognized know-it-all that I am today. Yet, we both somehow get by.
I owe much of my success as a bore to my lifelong pathological obsession with reading science journals. I succumbed to this disease before the age of ten, when I began pilfering copies of Scientific American from local newsstands. After my first introduction to law enforcement, I got a paper route and subscribed. While other illiterate preteens were looking at the pictures in comic books, I was looking at much more interesting pictures in my carefully preserved and continuously expanding library of science journals. At that point my comprehension level was approximately -97%.
Now that you have sufficient background information, I shall proceed with my tirade.
As I have previously bragged about, I am a card-carrying PROFESSIONAL member of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. How this came about, I have no idea. I suspect that the organization conducted a random search for suckers and my name popped up. I received my membership card, which I have proudly displayed to hundreds of perfect strangers and a one year subscription to Science, the mouthpiece of the organization.
The gotcha, of course, came at subscription renewal time. I was torn between (A) forking out about Two Hundred U.S. Bucks to renew the subscription or (B) carrying around a membership card that was clearly expired, exposing me as an EX Professional Scientist. I considered carefully modifying the expiration date on the card, but I’m far too ethical to do anything so shady . . . mmmm. Eunie, finally tiring of my whining, said, “Write the cheque and shut up!” I sighed a sigh of pure love. I like the rough stuff.
Anyway, I continued to wade through Scientific American, for which my comprehension level was approaching 93% (more about that later) and added Science each week, beginning at a CL (I’m getting tired of typing) of about -17%.
However, I’ve noticed lately that my CL has been rising exponentially. I attribute this not to any elevation of my brain power, since this is clearly not the case, as I’m reminded daily by my friends. I lay the blame directly on the publishers of science journals. I’m not a conspiracy geek, but I am beginning to wonder . . .
As a case-in-point, I present the cover of Science for 27 November 2009:*
Not wishing to portray Science as the originator of this massive dumbing-down of science, I should mention that Scientific American was, indeed, the perpetrator, commencing with it’s infamous “Toy Boat” issue of August 1987:
Here we see, in this astonishingly cheesy Nikon ad, Albert Einstein equated to The Three Stooges:
A few pages later we’re confronted by the ineptitude of Scientific American’s copy editors:
Okay, I have flogged Scientific American enough, already.
Let’s get back to flogging Science. Here is example of the silly pandering that’s dragging science down to the least common denominator and artificially inflating my CL:
As further evidence, I present a mystifying illustration which had nothing whatsoever to do with the content of the article:
Speaking of drawing pictures, here is a suitably illustrative example of what I’m talking about. Has anybody yet figured out what I’m talking about? No? Good, that’s my point exactly:
Another area of concern is the use of famous personalities to try to convince us that science is “easy”:
Patience, I am nearly finished.
As a final, and I might add, convicting bit of evidence, here is a complex graphic that claims to explain the previously mysterious principles of “up”, “down”, “right” and “left”:
Give me an equation!
* There may be individuals who are so humourless that they fail to recognize the forgoing as a fun-loving jab at a prestigious organization. If you are one of those individuals and you are feeling litigious, I refer you to George Carlin’s lawyer.
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Good morning Jan
Sorry to spoil your day.
Read the latest on this blog and shudder – re: your “paradise of Madang being ruined”
http://asopa.typepad.com/asopa_people/
Maybe as you are on the ground in Madang you might like to comment.
Cheers
Colin
Colin, I just dropped in on a Sunday afternoon to see how far behind I’ve fallen over the weekend. I had a quick look at your referenced post and I do intend to comment . . . cautiously. I’m a Premanent Resident and therefore here at Mr. Somare’s pleasure.
More later and thanks for the tip.
MadDog
Brilliant, MadDog! As a science buff, science writer, and student of all things science, I couldn’t agree more with your criticism. Satire and irony are often the most powerful form of argument, especially when backed up with so much evidence.
Dare I say, you kicked their AAAS!!!
Steve
It’s now Monday morning, Colin, and I’m ignoring the gargantuan pile of work to look over the references to which you pointed me and try to formulate a response.
Dr. Barry’s statements seem to reflect the realities, insofar as we can ascertain. Everybody sees the “in your face” wealth of our “leaders” who make no attempt to hide it. Anyone can calculate that they did not become filthy rich from their salaries. Ergo . . . I don’t need to say it and I will not. I’m not a parrot.
Many of the ills of our times, going far beyond unwise forestry practices, are direct legacies of a nation ill prepared by its former masters for Nationhood. Other woes stem from the logical conclusion that there is little reason for Papua New Guinea to be a nation at all. Nationhood implies common grounds, common universally recognised interests and a more or less commonly accepted civil ethos. As near as I can tell, and not without reason, this is not the case in PNG, where it is “every man (language group) for himself. Anyone who spouts uninformed criticism of this doesn’t understand PNG all. “Why can’t they get their act together?” is the question of the ignorant. Sean Dorney’s famous statement, “The surprising thing about PNG is not that things are so bad, but rather that things could be so much worse.” reflects the reality. (I don’t know if those were his exactly words, but something to that effect.)
Given the understandable rampant self-interest that has been bred by 50,000 years of geographic isolation of large groups of people engaging in more or less constant warfare, it’s not surprising that this land is nigh on impossible to manage. Everything is, by necessity, a compromise. These conditions provide the perfect breeding media and nutrients for corruption. No matter what a “leader” does, there will always be a noisy and powerful group cheering him on, no matter how many wail and sob in protest.
You may detect a poisonous cynicism in my remarks. It shouldn’t surprise. I’ve watched with horror, since 1981, the collapse of a functional and relatively sane nation. I’ve heard friends moaning about a “failed state”. Though there may be many problems, some seeming unsolvable, PNG is still not a bad place to live – there are countless others worse. I place my hopes in the young university students of today. I pray that they are not simply standing in line waiting for their turn at the trough. If their actions match their words we may see, possibly in my lifetime, a turn around.
I sincerely hope to live to a ripe old age. When my ashes are scattered over the quite waters of Madang Harbour I pray that PNG will finally be a Nation in the fullest sense of the word. This can happen if the people of PNG will subjugate some portion of their self interest to the interests of their nation, stop seeing politicians as “leaders” and put them in their correct roles as representatives, and cease selling their votes to the clown who brings the biggest truckload of beer into the village.
My Dad fought the Japanese here in WWII. I can turn my head to the side and see a photo of him standing in the mud with a Thompson slung over his shoulder. I grew up with his stories of how much he appreciated the friendly people of Milne Bay. He was constantly in trouble for taking his boss’s jeep out into the bush to visit villages. I never suspected that I would end up spending the majority of my life here. Indeed, I never imagined, in the beginning, that it would be the greatest blessing of my life.
I don’t wear my religion on my coat sleeve. However, I’ll say that I pray for this land of awe. I pray that the electorate will comprehend the power that they hold in their hands. I pray that the elect will see reason and mend their ways.
If I were a citizen, I’d be an activist. I was a war resister during Vietnam. I spent nine years in the National Guard to prove a point. I feel vindicated by the judgement of history. “Power to the People” is my mantra. However, my role here must be limited to that of a soft-spoken observer.
Can you read between the lines?
Thanks, Colin, for your stimulating comment. Stay tuned.
I leave it to you to make the puns, my friend. I merely felt that a little good-humoured and completely unmerited ass kicking was in order.
I just hope they don’t sue me.
Later,
MadDog
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