Sunset – Sunrise

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Man, this is hard. I don’t know how to write this. I just have to put one word in front of another. Eunie was one of those people who you feel like will be around forever. We know it’s not true, but we don’t want to think about not having her.

Yesterday morning, after only a couple of hours of discomfort, she asked for some stronger pain relief. Shortly afterwards she fell asleep and her breathing calmed and she was peaceful. Not long after that, her spirit departed her body.

It has been only a few weeks that we have known that Eunie was seriously ill. Eunie feared few things in life. She was one the most fiercely brave people I have ever known. She did not, however, want to have anything at all to do with pain. The fact that she left us so peacefully and without pain was a blessing to us all.

So, Eunie’s sunset in now complete. The lightning in the image above represents her amazing spirit.

After every sunset, there is another sunrise. This is the way the world turns. So it is with the spirit, as I believe. If I did not believe so, I would not be able to carry on. I carry on now because of this promise and because to falter and waste away would be a dishonour to Eunie.

Eunie’s sunrise must be truly glorious.

I have no more words for now. I don’t know what the next few days will bring. Hans is going back to his family in Canada tomorrow morning. I have my remaining support team here with me – Marg and Mick Horwood tonight at their house and Val Jerram, Rich Jones and Carol Dover who will be travelling to Gympie with me to Val’s home.

Sometime next week I will return to Madang. I both long for and dread it. I’ve never felt such conflicting emotions. To those in Madang:  you are getting back a shell of a man, but I have no fear that all will be well after a while. Life for me will never be “normal” – as it seemed before. I have to hang onto the hope that there will be a new sunrise for me.

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I was stunned to see that there were 28 comments waiting for me this morning. I can’t possibly answer each one, but I do read every one.

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63 Responses to “Sunset – Sunrise”

  1. Dorothy & Brian Lusmore Says:

    Dear Jan, You have both been in our thoughts and prayers constantly during the last week and we are so sad to hear of Eunie’s passing. We remember with love all the years in Madang from her first arrival and how she gradually reached out in so many different ways and to so many different people. She will truly be missed and we ache for you at this time. Love, Dorothy & Brian

  2. MadDog Says:

    Thanks, Jake. A reader in Samarai – interesting. I am completely gutted now, but I can but trust that someday life will seem brighter. I would love to take you up on your offer at Samarai and please do look me up if you get to Madang. – Jan

  3. MadDog Says:

    To all of my readers who commented on this post.

    I am sad that I am simply unable to reply individually to all of your messages which, at present, number fifty-two. As you can imagine, I’m hardly in a condition to do so and there are many pressing matters to which to attend. I have read them all and am astounded by the caring that is shown in them. I’ve tried to spread a lot of love and joy here for the last three years. It’s a warm feeling to have some coming back. Eunie is smiling down on us all.

    MadDog

  4. rea Says:

    friend, stay stronger god knows for the sake of your wife..

  5. rea Says:

    I know she’s very happy where she’s at now.
    Be strong Okey…….my Im here for you…

  6. MadDog Says:

    Thank you Rea, for both of your kind comments.

  7. Trevor Says:

    my thoughts are with you.

  8. Adam Beasley Says:

    Jan,
    Eunice was a gem! Your admiration and love for her are wonderful to read – thanks for being open and sharing, but the raw hurt and the fond memories. I always enjoyed coming to your apartment in Madang, playing with Hans, you guys had the most interesting music. Eunice was full of love, hugs and also didn’t beat around the bush when it was necessary. Know that my prayers are with you.

  9. MadDog Says:

    Thank you, Trevor. A lot of good people are very sad that Eunie is no longer with us. I’m back in Madang. I’ve set the goal for myslef of feeling better a year from now. I think that it is possible. It’s going to be baby steps.

  10. MadDog Says:

    Ah, yes, Adam, we did have the music! Some of it was frowned upon by others, if you know what I mean. thanks for your prayers. I’ll keep it honest.

  11. Liz Says:

    Dear Jan, i was astounded to come across your truly amazing blog this evening. I was in Madang some years ago, and have such fond memories of you and Eunie. I am so sad to read of Eunie’s passing and send you my sincere condolensces. She, like you touched me during my time in Madang. My thoughts and all my prayers are with you.

  12. MadDog Says:

    Thanks very much, Liz, for your message. Eunie touched so many lives in such a wonderful way. I’m amazed at the number of messages which I have received. I am happy that you have fond memories of us.

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