Bachelor’s Dinner – PNG Style

Posted in Humor, Mixed Nuts on April 18th, 2009 by MadDog
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As a public service to all PNG men who are suffering, as I am, without a woman (temporarily, at least, for me), I’m going to give you a recipe for a delicious and nutritious dinner that you can prepare in fifteen minutes, not counting the time for the bush walk to collect ingredients.

Here is what you need:

Ingredients:  Magi noodles, aibika and tulip (the spider is optional)

From left to right we have Magi Chicken Flavoured Noodles, a spider (optional), and a package containing aibika and tulip.  The spider crawled out of the package during the night while it was in the fridge. I assumed he was dead.

First we need to prepare the tulip  leaves. The name tulip does not refer to the tulip flower. It simply means that there are “two leaves” at the end of each twig. Here are the distinctive leaves of the tulip  tree:

The distinctive leaves of the Tulip tree
The ones above are rather too large for my taste. I prefer the younger leaves. The flavour is more delicate. I like to cut out the tough vein in the middle:

Preparing the tulip

Next we prepare the aibika.  Don’t worry that it’s full of holes. The bugs love it. I’ve never seen an aibika  leaf that wasn’t holey. Cut out the tough vein in the middle:

Preparing the aibika

I like to crunch up my noodles so I don’t have to deal with them hanging from my mouth while I slurp them in. It seems somehow undignified. Put your noodles in a suitable bowl along with the aibika  and tulip.  Don’t forget to add the little packet of flavouring that comes with the noodles or it’s going to taste awful. Add salt and pepper and whatever other spices you like. At this point, I had not yet decided whether to add the spider. Finally, I declined. Put in some water and:

Noodles, aibika, tulip, salt, pepper - all you need (add water, of course)

Nuke it for ten minutes in the microwave oven. If you don’t have a microwave handy, a fire will do, but I would recommend a metal pot instead of a plastic bowl:

Nuke it in the microwave for ten minutes

At this point, I would recommend that you have one last look in the bowl to make sure that you did not forget to add the water. It’s surprisingly easy to lose track of that small detail. I set my microwave oven on fire once when I neglected to follow the check-list.

And here we have it:  Magi Noodles Aibika & Tulip Supreme  —  a meal fit for a tired old man;


Ah, but what about the spider? As I was preparing my dinner, I noticed that the spider seemed to be shivering as it lay there on its back. Optical Illusion,  I thought to myself. But NO!, The spider came back to life! If you doubt me, here he is:

The spider came back to life

I would have let him wander around the house to see if he could find a tasty cochroach, but he was acting so nasty towards me that I put him outside so that he could find something else to eat (other than me) after his long cold nap in the fridge.

Bon appétit.

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