What Happens When Your Tongue Is Just Too Big for Your Mouth?

Posted in Humor, Mixed Nuts, Opinions on March 5th, 2008 by MadDog
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I’ve noticed that dogs often have this condition. My dog Sheba is afflicted by this malady. Poor thing – she seems not to notice. The moist pink floppy item just lolls out dripping fragrant mackerel-scented doggie slobber all over the place while she is blissfully ignorant of the messy situation. If only humans could be so innocently unaware of our oh-so-obvious design defects. Here’s Sheba letting it dry out a little:

My dog Sheeba

Yes . . . anyway – quite a few humans suffer from this affliction. It is not commonly known that the President of the U. S. of A. is a sufferer. Though photographs are understandably rare, I managed to filch this one from a secret government web site to which only I have access (wink, wink, nod, nod). Here is the sad truth:

President Bush’s little tongue problem

It’s no small wonder that President George II gets so fidgety. He’s probably in constant consternation concerning what improbable, out-of-order protuberance might slip out of his otherwise-quite-reasonable mouth. And this is before he even starts to worry about what he might say!

I myself have been tortured by this socially awkward syndrome for some years – ever since my head started shrinking sometime in 1967 (it is now approximately one-half its former size). For some brilliantly bizarre reason, my tongue has not become similarly diminutive. I try to keep it under control, but it does occasionally protrude inelegantly. Here I am in an embarrassing moment. (Look away NOW if you are easily frightened.)

MadDog’s tongue slips out

So, as we go about our business today, let us keep in mind those less fortunate members of our fellow fauna who are unable to control their tongues.

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